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#017: BEYONCE / IMPERFECTION

Exactly a week to year end! Exhausted, but the plan is to finnish strong. I was listening to Part 2. of Beyonce’s visual album, and I want to end the year on this note, it (life/journey/self) wont always be perfect, but there’s beauty in ashes. Incase you don’t want to watch the whole video, here are some noteworthy quotes:

"you can work so hard, give everything you have & loose…you’re never too big or too good (to loose)…it happens when it needs to happen, and you have to embrace those things"

“My message behind the album was finding beauty in imperfection…At the end of the day, when you go through all of these things… Is it worth it?” 

"…and I see I’m changing peoples’ lives. Those are the things that matter. And at this point in my life, that’s what I’m striving for. Growth, love, happiness, fun. Enjoy your life. It’s short. That’s the message.”

REFLECTING

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You do cause you have to do it,

dreaming, creating, it all takes courage and you do it cause you must.

For no other reason but at the command of your soul.

You create, but its not perfect & it bothers you

So you go back, searching within to ponder how to rise up to your taste, how to best illustrate meaning..

You take a hiatus, you procrastinate, you plan & make lists of every single idea, every single tomorrow & someday

At your core, the hunger noisily draws a growl

you create, except for right now you can only do it in your head:

wardrobe, location, a theme, maybe a model, lots of natural light, calming silence- except for the familiar clicking of your shutter.

click click, turn, tilt your face, more, do it again, nice, looking good, again…click click

Its all so comforting, 1 hour, 2 hours killed. damn where did time go?.

its happening all in your head-thats the only place it can happen, and right now thats okay because you can’t physically create but you must.

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SOUL

Probably the moment sincere I have been behind & in-front of the lens. I have been talking about sharing these images for a while now, I feel such joy to finally share them with the world. More images from this body of work can be seen on my website here.

EMOTIONAL LABOUR

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We are cultured to suppress negative energy & feelings and exhibit happiness, enthusiasm and all round togetherness in order to appear whole. Overtime this leads to burnout- if you add the million other things that occupy our minds, trying to curate our emotions on a daily is tedious. I am kind of tired today & just felt like recording this feeling, this moment, to remind myself that I am human. Its okay to breath and just be sometimes.

Breathebe. To anyone feeling the same way out there.

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MINOR EXHIBITION RECAP BUT A MAJOR BACK STORY

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I have been procrastinating to write this post, mainly because I did not just want to get away with a summary and then just hit publish. Oh well finally seating down & actually feeling like writing this post.

Last week it happened. I showcased my photography for the very first time with RAW. From the beginning of this year I’ve been creating images that I never shared with anyone or put anywhere, just honest personal work that I felt I needed to do to be true to myself. I also wrote down a goal in January that I would have at least one showcase before the year was up. It’s been so many things that have inspired my current approach to photography as well as overall attitude towards my creative journey. First of all I have a PSA (!!) I am no longer a photography major (this is another post of its own at another time) instead I’ve decided to major in graphic design and will graduate this coming May.

I’ve been reading books of photographers long gone from this earth (notably Gordon Parks), soaking in their wisdom, their journey, I’ve been drawn into the world of poets & dreamers concerning the creative journey (notably Rainer M Rilke). I took a painting class last semester, which too indirectly had a huge influence on myself, my creative journey & how I see the world. I also started keeping a physical sketchbook and an online one of images & stories that managed to articulate so well what I personally could not express. I have also met & sparked up conversations with other seriously talented individuals who left me feeling inspired and reassured in this journey. Its from these collections of inspiration that I manage to clearly see what my taste is, I see a pattern of things am drawn to, its freaking amazing how the subconscious is largely at play here because I see recurring themes, ideas and even color palettes that appeal to me without me even consciously choosing them.

So out of these sequence of encounters, choices, thoughts, “Soul” was born. (I will blog about this separately in the near future). It is an ongoing body of images that directly speak from my heart, an attempt to move away from creating just pretty pictures. Its deeply important to me that my work has a “why” behind it, there has to be a reason and a story. I am excited to see the growth of this series! And honestly I am not in a hurry -as I previously was- to create work and put it out there, I am embracing my own journey at my own pace doing stuff that leaves me fulfilled. I feel it is extremely important that creative’s do an audit of their journey, is it fulfilling? Is it intentional? Are you happy? Seek out answers from around you; trust me they will come to you if you don’t find them.

A big thank you to my family, friends, classmates and everyone who showed me love and came out last week! And those in distant lands, who wrote me messages, thank you!

RAW Minneapolis presents: Encompass 10/24/2013

Photo credit: Marc James Imagery. More photos from this amazing night as well as the work of amazing artists from the twin cities can be found here.

#015: ALEXIS MIRE

Perhaps inside I am an old soul. I gravitate so much towards things of years passed.  Old books, buildings, photos. Old questions that no one is there to answer. Mysterious things. Film.

I love Lexi’s work especially her film photographs because they take me back. Theres nothing quite like the look of film. It is my dream to one day shoot film and not just one roll but many rolls over & over without a care of cost & what not! So yeah, film is my inspiration.

1.tumblr, 2. 4/365, 3. 171/365, 4. Untitled